Often as bystanders, seeing something happening, whether as an adult or a child, it is easier and safer to stand back and watch or walk past and do nothing, rather than step in and help.
As adults, if our children see that we just ignore what is going on and don't step out and help a person who is in trouble, this is the model we pass onto our children - to do nothing. Now, don't get me wrong there are times when it is not safe to step in - but our children also need to know this and as a parent you can talk about why you didn't step in, but chose to get help instead.
There is a lot of help a bystander can give, whether it is stepping in and directly helping or whether it is getting help - as adults we need to model this to our children, rather than shying away and ignoring what is going on.
In its current state, society does not generally place expectations on us to interfere or to intervene in the lives of others...it is acceptable to walk past and do nothing. However, it is your own personal conscience, which tells you as an adult that you could do something to help another person who may be in trouble...by doing this and talking to your children about it - they may just start to see the power of the bystander and also see you as a bit of a hero.
So how can we help our children / students to see the 'power of the bystander'?
We need to educate them - they need to be able to see and understand the positive power they have as onlookers. Knowing that they 'together' can make a positive difference in helping the target - who is often in a position where they are unable to help themselves.
It is vital that students are encouraged to stand up for one another in bullying situations not because that person is a friend - but because bullying is wrong.
In the sentence above one of the most important words I believe is...'together'. How much easier is it to step in and help someone together rather than trying to do it on your own? TOGETHER students can make a positive difference.
As a member of a peer group, our children can be a part of the problem or the solution...as a bystander to bullying we need to teach our children that they have a choice, they have the power to stop and prevent bullying from happening or they can encourage it to continue.
By standing and watching or laughing the bullying will continue. But if they step up with others and say NO and help the child that is the target - the bullying will most likely stop.
So how to step in? First they need to assess the situation. Do they feel safe to intervene? Can they do this with two of them rather than just on their own? As we said before, two is always better than one. Or is there a teacher or an older student nearby that they can get to come and help?
By doing this, your child can help the student who is being bullied - and that child's feelings of helplessness and nothingness will be a lot less than if they got no help. Your child's action can help restore some feelings of self-esteem and self-worth - there is a lot of power in this.
Empathy can be very powerful
Whether an adult or a child, we cannot change the world all at once, but we can help change lives one person at a time, one step at a time...if we do it as adults, our children will learn from us and there is great power in that.
Bullying No More: Working together with both parents and schools to help Break the Cycle of Bullying.
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