Not being part of the In Crowd in high school can make you feel worthless. This small group of It Girls wield so much power that they determine your self-image and self-worth. Some girls outside of the In Crowd desperately want to belong and spend their entire high school career trying to get in. Others pretend they don't care but secretly wish they belonged. The It Crowd is high school royalty and who doesn't want to be royal?
I'm gonna be honest. I don't like the In Crowd. They're mean, catty, self-centered, selfish bitches and a lot of them spend their time making other girls feel like crap. If you're a high school girl who feels like crap, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
It Girls are Stressed:
Popular Girls are under a lot of pressure. When you're at the top of mountain, it's a lot of work to stay there and there's always another girl clawing her way up to take your place.
In Crowd Girls Hate Themselves:
For a variety of reasons, It Girls are mean. They're under so much pressure to remain popular that they put people down as part of their tactic to stay on top. Unless they're sociopaths, they don't feel good about being such a bitch. Deep down, It Girls know what they're doing is a load of crap but their drive to remain popular keeps that inner voice quiet and secretly eats them up inside.
Popular Girls Hate Each Other:
Their Facebook pics makes you think they're the happiest, bestest group of BFF's ever. Wrong. It Girls hate each other even more than they hate themselves. Their entire friendship revolves around jealousy. They're jealous of each other looks, money, house, car, grades, wardrobe, boyfriend... Ever wonder why the In Crowd is so incestuous and constantly stealing each other's boyfriends? It all boils down to jealousy. It makes them feel prettier and awesomer then the girl they stole him from.
In Crowd Girls are More Insecure than You:
It Girls seem incredibly self-assured and fabulous. Trust me when I tell you, it's a facade. They're so insecure that they put other people down to build themselves up. A truly self-assured person wouldn't resort to such measures and would spend their time doing more productive things.
It Girls are Miserable:
Behind all the smiling pictures, your Popular Girl is a ticking time bomb of emotional misery. She's stressed, she hates herself, her friends hate her (and are trying to steal her boyfriend), she's mean and secretly feels guilty about it and she's an insecure mess. You're life's starting to seem a little more awesome, isn't it?
It Crowd Girls Don't Have it All:
Popular Girls have it all. They're beautiful, they're... They're beautiful. Let's face it, the main reason these girls are popular is because of how they look. In the scheme of things, being hot doesn't get you that far. You don't want someone to date you because you're hot. You want them to like you for who you are. You're not going to get a job because you're hot unless you're a model and these girls aren't going to become models because their looks probably aren't going to last past high school. Which brings me to my next point:
Popular Girls Get Fat after High School:
I can personally attest to this one. At my 10 year High School Reunion, my It Girls were an older, fatter version of themselves.
It Girls Don't Grow Up to Be Successful People with Fantastic Lives:
There are always exceptions to this rule but generally, Popular Girls end up living ordinary, non-fabulous lives. It Girls don't spend their High School Careers studying and developing skills giving them the opportunity to score a great job because all of their energy is devoted to being popular. When (and if) they get to college, they're suddenly thrown into a world where they are no longer the queen bee and crisis hits. Some of them make it. A lot of them don't. It's hard to go from being the center of attention to a nobody.
College is So Much Better than High School:
If you're debating not going to college, stop thinking about it and go! Go to a bigger college with lots of people. This will give you the opportunity to co-mingle between crowds and find out where you fit in. College gives normal girls the opportunity to blossom outside of the pressures of High School dictates. If you're still obsessed with being part of the In Crowd, college is your chance to be in it. There are tons of It Crowds to choose from if you join a sorority.
High School is a Fishbowl:
Fish are stuck in their bowl incapable of going anywhere else because they can't breathe out of water. High School Girls are stuck there until they graduate. High School is your entire world and you're incapable of seeing outside of your bowl. It's because of this phenomenon that Popular Girls are given so much power and you feel so crappy. You can't see outside of your bowl at the gigantic aquarium that lies after high school. This doesn't mean you can't jump bowls in the mean time.
Think about joining something outside of your school. Take a painting class, music lesson, join a class at the Y. How about trying a sport not sponsored by your school. Governor's School? Summer Camp? It's not just for kids. There are a ton of summer activities for High School kids. Get a part-time job. Do you go to church? How about a church group (just make sure the popular girls don't go there or that defeats the purpose).
The minute you start doing something outside of your fishbowl, you'll start interacting with people who aren't looking at you through Colored Glasses created by the It Crowd. People will see you for who you are and are gonna like you. After awhile, you're going to stop worrying about the Popular Girls and start liking the way you look.
Dear Annabelle is an Online Advice Column giving Modern Advice for the Modern World. Need some advice? Annabelle will give you a fresh perspective on any problem. Visit her website at http://dearannabelle.com/ to ask her a question or read her Tips & Tricks for Life, Love, Happiness & More.