Bullying is a behavior that exists in all strata of our society, but many people would not say their behavior is akin to the stereotype of bullying. Bullying implies that one "stronger" individual exerts his/her will over another "less strong" individual. All we have to do to think of white-collar bullying is consider the conduct of elected officials, sports or movie stars, or others who have privileges accorded to them by others. When we think of bullying at school, we think of (usually) a boy who picks fights with others; (s)he does this by verbally taunting or physically invading the others' space and/or making physical contact. Typically, the verbal and physical behaviors happen simultaneously.
One source of bullying is when children learn behaviors from others or older individuals who model bullying. Perhaps an adult yells or physically abuses adults and/or children at home. Perhaps someone in the neighborhood has passed the behavior on to a child who then "practices" on your child. Television show and movies may glorify bullies, especially if the child watches the high-action dramas. These are the likely places to target for the origin of the behavior.
But not all bullying is the same. Learned behavior is only one source of bullying. A second source is innate in those who become delinquent and, later, incarcerated. These individuals' thought process perceives kindness as weakness and, when they are kind, they perceive themselves as weak. Being weak sets them up to be victimized by others. Rather than being the victim, they choose to be the aggressor as a defensive mechanism. To solve this type of bullying behavior, they must have extensive counseling which they often reject as not applicable to them.
A third type of bullying could be considered learned behavior, but it is learned in a different manner. Children often become disruptive (acting out) when they are in situations where they feel insecure or unable to complete a task. They may be able to delay their acting out behaviors until recesses when they become more aggressive towards others to relieve their frustrations. Over time, disciplinary actions reinforce the negative behavior and they quickly learn how to avoid tasks or situations that elicit incompetence or insecurity.
We can't eliminate bullying from our society, but we can change the way we deal with our children. That means treating them with respect and teaching them to make appropriate choices and decisions in complex problem solving situations. The solution to most of schools' bullying problems is in our homes. The techniques are available in the behavior management module at Parents Teach Kids.
Jennifer Little, Ph.D.
http://parentsteachkids.com/
http://easyschoolsuccess.com/
All children can succeed in school. Parents can help their children by teaching the foundational skills that schools presume children have. Without the foundation for schools' academic instruction, children needlessly struggle and/or fail. Their future becomes affected because they then believe they are less than others, not able to succeed or achieve or provide for themselves or their families.