Parenting is quite easily one of the most dynamic seasons of life. It is difficult not only for new parents, but even parents who have had many kids still admit that it remains challenging. Christian parenting is not exempt from this challenge; after all, just because someone is Christian does not mean you do not face challenges in the home front.
So what makes Christian parenting different from the way the rest of the world does its parenting? After all, food, clothing and shelter are things that anyone can give a child. Is Christian parenting simply an excuse for parents to use the Bible to make their kids behave right? Are Christian parents better off for having a way to threaten their kids against disobedience?
What does the Bible say about parenting?
Maybe it would be best to understand first that Jesus came to earth with a mission of showing us what the Father's heart was like (John 17:26). This is what Christian parenting is all about: parenting our kids the way that God the Father takes care of us.
So what is the way that our Heavenly Father parents us?
First, He extends grace to us. Grace is very misunderstood, but extending grace through parenting is simply to extend kindness to kids who deserve to be punished. What makes Christian parenting stand out is grace, because the world cannot give grace; only a relationship with Jesus gives us an experience with grace. When we fail and see God extending grace to us, it empowers us to give the same grace to our kids; when they fall short of our expectations, we can actually show them the grace we received in Jesus Christ.
Secondly, even in our weakness, He enjoys us. We human parents sometimes have set a high standard for our kids, and wind up disappointed with them. But when we realize that we are actually weak, but that God enjoys us, it enables us to enjoy our kids in the same way. I myself have struggled to enjoy my son, particularly during his annoying and stubborn moments, but Jesus is helping me enjoy him even when he is still immature.
Thirdly, discipline is part of His love language. Of course, our concept of child discipline may have already been tainted with plans of punishment for getting kids to behave the way we want. But do you know that the Greek term for discipline has the word "to disciple" as its root? This means teaching and learning, which means that it is more about teaching rather than punishment. This means that when God the Father disciplines His children, it is more likely that He is teaching us truths about Himself to dispel wrong ideas that result in our behaving the way we do.
Lastly, He transforms us into His image by having us behold Him (2 Corinthians 3:18). This applies to the natural as well as the spiritual side of things. After all, "like father like son" actually is true: as a child beholds his dad, he unconsciously behaves like he does. This means that as we gaze up at Him, we get transformed into His likeness; and this transformation did not occur out of His giving rules to follow, but rather comes out of our encounters with Him. When we encounter different angles of His personality, for example, His love, the same thing comes out of us. This same principle holds true for parenting: whatever our kids see of us, they also unknowingly act out.
There was a time in our lives when our three-year-old boy always got a scolding from us, which seemed to put us in an endless cycle of power struggles! But the Lord stepped in and showed us how much He delighted in us; He then showed us that we were also designed to enjoy our son the same way, and that the power struggles were never His intention in the first place. As we basked in His delight, which we knew were always for us because of the cross, unconsciously, we were able to extend the same delight to our boy.
What happened as a result? Our son also responded to our delight, and almost overnight, he became much calmer and easier to deal with!
This is what Christian parenting is all about. It is not about giving Bible-based rules and regulations, but rather, a time of enjoying the Father's love for us and extending it to our children!
Christian parenting is a journey we can all enjoy as we learn how God the Father parents us and extend the same parenting style to our kids!