If have a toddler, you know all about temper tantrums. Unless of course you are one of those lucky few that happen to have a toddler that does what you tell them and never throws a fit of any kind. It's okay, the rest of the parenting community has a term for that. It's called 'denial'. Seriously though, no child is perfect, and turning a blind eye to their misbehaving will only cause things to fester and get worse. No one wants that, which is why we are all here. At some point every parent is going to be faced with the dreaded fire breathing dragon that is 'The Temper Tantrum'. Now for a few it may be something that only happens a handful of times and once the child figures out that it doesn't work, they stop the behavior.
Not all of us are quite so lucky however. Most of us get a short phase of tantrums and then some of us are blessed with the strong willed children, who know exactly what they want and when they want it and have absolutely no qualms about letting you or anyone else know that they are not getting it right at that very instant and it doesn't matter if you're at home or in the middle of a wedding ceremony. A little pat on the back to these parents, it's not easy raising a strong willed child, and there is nothing wrong with them. Being strong willed is actually quite a formidable personality trait to have and is not something you can learn to have. You are simply born with it.
So that being said, let's move on to some of the things you as parents can do to lessen the eye-twitching, hair pulling, and teeth grinding days and possibly the need for Tylenol, and talk about the positive things. Hopefully these will both help you feel like stronger and more confident, in control parents and will help your toddlers feel in control of themselves and have a better grasp of simple boundaries. When your toddler throws a tantrum at home: It's important to hold your ground and stay calm. Using a calm voice and reinforcing simple rules such as 'I'm sorry you're upset because you're not getting what you want right now, but we don't scream indoors' is a good way to let them know that you understand why they are upset, but there are still rules to follow. If they don't lower their voice, you can say 'I can see that you're still angry and that's okay.
If you want to scream, you can scream into a pillow in your room'. Make sure that you say this calmly but in a firm tone, which lets them know that you're not playing their game. If your first 2 requests have failed to yield any positive results then it is time to pick your child up and physically remove them from the situation. You don't have to say anything while you're doing it, simply set them down in their room and tell them that when they have decided to calm down and speak with an inside voice they are welcome to come out. When your toddler Acts out or has a tantrum in public: This one is actually much simpler to deal with. The first time your child misbehaves you kindly let them know in a calm voice that misbehaving will result in leaving the store, restaurant, park, wherever it is that you have gone. You don't have to actually go home, just simply remove them from the situation and stimulation. The majority of the time just going to the car and sitting for a few minutes is more than enough to calm them right down. However if it isn't, don't be afraid to follow through and take them home.
A few things to remember, only wait a minute or so in between telling your child that screaming (or whatever behavior) is not acceptable and giving them another alternative. When using a time out (putting them in their room), use 1 minute for every year of age unless they are a special needs child (ADHD for example) then you cut that time in half. When taking them out of time out always give them a short 'pep talk' to let them know that you love them, but that behavior is not allowed.
Parenting is always a challenge, it does have great rewards though and and no one will ever be able to love your kiddos and teach them the way you can so get them while they're young. Loving them only gets more challenging the older you children get. I think it's because they run faster by then. Seriously thought, you're the best parent your child could have because you love them enough to give them boundaries.