I love Santa Claus. Nevertheless, I sympathize with parents who have chosen not to do the Santa thing. You can love what Santa stands for without having to say that he is real.
Basically I have no problem with parents having Santa bring toys, as long as they feel comfortable with it. On the other hand, I don't disagree with parents who choose not to tell their kids Santa is real.
There are important principles involved and also some subtleties.
At our house, when my son was little, we did not do the Santa thing. We celebrated Christmas with a small Christmas tree with ornaments, we exchanged presents, had Christmas stockings, listened to Christmas music, and had Christmas dinner.
We definitely talked about Santa, and my son became familiar with who Santa is and what he does. We read "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" and listened to "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer."
When I myself was a boy - my mom did do the Santa thing. When I was very small, I remember putting out a plate with cookies and a glass of milk for Santa, so he could enjoy them when he stopped by our house.
In the morning when I awoke, I dashed to the living room to see if Santa had come. One Christmas there was a brand new shiny bicycle near the tree. Santa had brought it, and he also filled the stockings.
At the same time, there were many other gifts and each was from someone in the family. Before Christmas I went shopping with mom to get her something, and then there were gifts from grandma and so on. So it was like a hybrid thing. there was Santa who brought things, and we also gave each other gifts. It was like the best of both worlds!
Somehow is I grew, I began to suspect that mom was actually Santa, and then I knew that it was mom who was getting me things and putting them under the tree. You know how it is with kids: one day they are living in their magical wonderful world of make believe, and then they are more interested in their friends, and then they are all grown up.
So here is what I think. Parents can go either way--tell their kids about Santa or not have Santa. In other words, do what you feel comfortable with and enjoy. Whatever you do, Santa or no Santa, if you do it with a good spirit, you will be fine.
I can enjoy the niceties of Christmas without forgetting the reason for the season. I love Christmas and all the trappings and I always will.
Here is an analogy to help explain my position. I have a stuffed animal at home and his name is Mr. Brown Bear. He is a very nice. He is kind and thoughtful. He loves looking out the window at the flowers. He is also working on his Ph.D in History. I know he is not real, but I still love him anyway.
Mr. Brown Bear is excited that my son is studying at a university because Mr. Brown Bear says he can work on his doctoral thesis more easily with all the research facilities and library near the school.
Is Mr. Brown Bear a real bear? No, of course not. But do I love and respect Mr. Brown Bear? Absolutely.
Should my son sit down with me one day and say "Dad, it's all a lie. Mr. Brown Bear is just a stuffed animal." No, because he knows that what I really love is what Mr. Brown Bear stands for.
Part of me is innocent and I love what is innocent and I also love to be playful. Ultimately it is what is innocent and good that I love, and so I honor and cherish good wherever I see it: in a child's eyes, in a good man or a good woman, in the Lone Ranger, in Mr. Brown Bear, or in Santa Claus.
If you don't want to do Santa, I have no problem with your decision. Remember, when my son was little, we did not do Santa either.
Whatever you do, just keep it light hearted. Remember that children live in a magical world. Honor their innocence. Be patient with them. Be patient with yourself. Merry Christmas, love and kisses!
Dr. Roland Trujillo, author and parenting expert, is founder and director of the Center for Common Sense Counseling. He is the author of 14 books including: My Daughter does not Want to Clean Her Room: A Handbook for Parents and Kids and Santa's Take on Parenting: Secrets from the North Pole.
Roland is host of the Ask Roland Show which airs on KCAA Radio 1060 AM in Riverside/San Bernardino, CA.
Roland is the author of dozens of articles, many of which are available free online, on the topics of positive parenting, improving marriage and relationships, exceptional fatherhood, successful single parenting, emotional well being and spiritual recovery.
Roland currently devotes his time to speaking and writing about positive parenting, discovering and maintaining emotional health, and building loving relationships. For more information, visit http://coachroland.blogspot.com/