Ah! The sound of laughter and imaginative play in the living room as my kids play with pillows, train tracks and Legos and organize and moment to moment, changing worlds of the future or past. I love that sound and the sense of peace and contentment it brings to me.
Oops! The voices are quickly getting more insistent and louder and harsher and....yes, we have a full blown argument complete with hurt feelings and tears and one sibling is now slamming out of the room.
Another form of quiet...a resigned "here we go again" feeling in the house...it seems to be the overwhelming feeling for adults and kids...all around.
SIBLINGS! Depending on the situation, he (the little brother) pesters teases and otherwise tries to get her (the older sister's) goat. While she controls, insists and prods him into feeling the need to burst out of the confines of the limits she wants him to play within. Sometimes the roles are reversed. If feels like they are the best of friends or at total odds, with very little in between it seems.
I know others feel my pain. We all have the "honeymoon" times with our kids...and the times when we feel out of our personal parental depth. There is a great book, "Siblings Without Rivalry," (by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish) which I run to at regular intervals. It is a short read that gives wonderful clarity to the sibling relationship and concrete suggestions for what to say and do in a variety of situations. The suggestions are even in the form of "cartoons" for those of us who are attention and time challenged. The suggestions do work (when I can remember to use them)! One of the greatest suggestions I have found is to say: "I know you can work this out!" and walk away. Now I know that we all fear that our darlings will go at it with fists, but I have found (with the book's help) that letting the kids work it out, however loudly, is often the very best thing I can do.
The argument, which is probably mostly to get me on one of their "side" anyway, rather quickly becomes "boring" and they begin to TALK and laugh and, even, to work it out...(amazingly without my help) and move on. I have even parked the car on the side of the road. Gotten out of the car and let them yell and talk it out. I come back to hugs and sometimes even a tear or two. Siblings may be on the planet to learn from each other (maybe like we learn from our friends and spouses?).
Speaking of leaving the siblings alone to work it out, we (as a family) found a very funny movie, via Streaming Netflix, BUG OFF! The movie is an over-the-top look at two siblings and due to aliens in a surprising setting and a need to totally rely on each other, a change of heart and even behavior occurs...fun for adults and kids and even good as a reference point for discussion.
As you look for fun things (peaceful things?) to do with your kids in addition to the camps and outdoor summer activities, I suggest you check out a new blog. The blog is a regularly updated series of reviews of movies such as BUG OFF! The movies are kid and family friendly...of course, not all with sibling messages. The reviews highlight movies, old and new, that are really engaging (i.e. ranging from funny, but not too babyish, to suspenseful, without inciting nightmares) for kids and adults. Go to http://workingmom41668.blogspot.com Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Robin_McKee |