As a parent, there is nothing more frustrating than having your child assigned to a teacher you do not care for. You have asked the principal to change rooms and your request was not granted. So now what? 180 days of misery? Here are a few ideas that may make the school year salvageable and even enjoyable. This of course assumes that the teacher is not violating any ethics codes or education law. If these things are happening, then you have a different scenario and these ideas are moot.
First, even if you have expressed your negative feelings to your child about this teacher, it is not too late to stop doing so. As a teacher of nearly 20 years, I can tell you that kids absorb the attitudes of their parents. Thus, if the parents are negative about the teacher, the kids will be too. A negative attitude in class all day results in less learning and less fun. With that said, kids change their attitudes as their parents do too. So, start saying only positive things, or at least, neutral things. So, instead of this assignment is just busy work, I do not see the point of doing this, you can say what did your teacher say when he/she assigned this? or I am sure your teacher knows that you can learn a lot from this. If you take the teacher seriously, even if you secretly disagree, your child will too.
Next, remember that teachers generally are caring and nurturing people who are overworked, under intense pressure to do the nearly impossible and heavily criticized. If you feel that an assignment is inappropriate, try to think of how you might want it modified and then ask the teacher if that is acceptable. Most teachers do not want to make your kitchen table a place for fighting, and will allow changes as long as the same standards are met.
Second, volunteer in the classroom as much as you can for a while. This does two things. One, it allows you to see the teacher in context and to see the students he or she has to work with. You may be able to pick up on subtleties such as overall morale of the entire faculty, or the amount of support the teacher gets from administration. Trust me, teaching in an environment when you do not have what you need, have a pacing plan of one lesson per day per subject, and no administrative support to get this all done makes any teacher a curmudgeon. The other thing volunteering does is it allows you to get to know the teacher better and for them to know you. Undoubtedly, you two will engage in small talk, which will lead to discussions about your child not only as a student but as a person. Most teachers are going to remember these things and make adaptations as needed for your child, even if it is unconscious.
Finally, learning how to deal with learning from someone who you do not like is a skill. We have all had teachers we did not like but we had to make the best of it and learn what we needed to move on. Having a teacher one likes is a luxury. This fact is often makes for a difficult transition for younger kids as they move up the grades. Usually, Kinder and First grade teachers are well-loved. But then the standards increase as does the intensity of instruction and teachers are often less popular. The sooner students learn this, the better prepared they will be for school and life. Explaining this to your child while still not poisoning the well of their teacher is one of the best lessons parents can teach.
Katherine Katsenis is a veteran public school teacher and the owner of Lyceum Tutorial Services
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